How do you know the difference between the guidance of your heart and your head?
And even if you understand the difference, which one are you supposed to listen to?
Struggles between the heart and the head happen everyday to everyone. It’s a part of being Human.
What an amazing thing the mind is. It comes up with ideas, brings forward inspiration, calculates solutions, reasons with, sorts things out, provides structure, strives for our survival. It understands, learns, deduces. But it also gives space to negativity and the ego, where fear based thoughts are born.
The voice of the mind is strong, forthright and sometimes restrictive.
It keeps us alive, physically and spiritually. It is the source of LOVE, feeling, devotion, compassion, forgiveness, joy, passion and it connects us to all of life. But it is also the place where hurt can fester.
The voice of the HEART is soft, nurturing and will always want what is best.
What Motivates You?
Have you ever made plans, or a commitment which seemed like such a great idea at the time because you thought, Hey, this IS what I want, and it will be good because . . . ?
And then, as the time approaches for you to go through with the plans, you start to think I’m not so sure about this anymore, it doesn’t feel right and I don’t want to do it, but I have to because I said I would.
It gets closer and you get more fidgety about it.
And your head says, You wanted to do this didn’t you? It will be good for you, you’ll see. If you cancel you will let people down. You will let yourself down. And you will feel guilty if you don’t go through with it.
And you start beating yourself up, because you know that secretly, you don’t want to do the thing, but you don’t want to appear fickle, so you talk yourself into doing the thing. And the whole time your body says, NO. And your head says, YES.
If you can get to the bottom of what motivates you to make plans or decisions in the first place, you will be able to figure out if something really is in your best interest to go through with or not.
Are you driven by wants or needs? What the head thinks is a great idea may disagree with what the heart needs to thrive.
I made a commitment recently which I thought was a great idea, but as the day approached I grew increasingly uncomfortable about pursuing the commitment. Then I argued with myself as my head tried to make me feel guilty if I cancelled. But every fibre in my body said, PLEASE DON’T DO IT.
I sat quietly for a few minutes and asked myself what my motivations were for making this commitment in the first place. When I listened to the answers from within I thought, Hey, there’s nothing wrong with those motivations, so why don’t I want to go through with it?
I reflected upon my motivations and realised they were based on what I WANTED, and they didn’t take into account what I NEEDED.
So, I asked my heart what it NEEDED, and my heart said, time alone to heal, and also, something about the commitment isn’t right for me just now.
When I listened to that soft voice inside I decided to follow its advice. I forgave myself for breaking the commitment and let go of the guilt. And after that I felt a lot better and that’s when I knew I had made the BEST CHOICE.
Sometimes the RIGHT choice isn’t always the BEST choice.
We have become so conditioned into doing things that WE DON’T REALLY WANT TO DO, that we find it difficult to listen to the voice of the heart.
I grew up with the conditioning : We all have to do things that we don’t want to do. And every part of that idea has always felt so wrong to me. Life is NOT about making ourselves do things that don’t feel good.
Many of us choose money or work over health and wellbeing because it takes SO MUCH courage to step outside of the box and break free from the paradigms of a society that has us enslaved.
Yes, we need money to live, but do we really need it to survive? What would happen if half us decided to listen to our hearts? We could give birth to a new life and a new society that was filled with so much more love and compassion.
We can all change the world with one decision at a time. Make yours count, let go of fear, find your courage and listen to your heart. Do what is best, not just what seems right.
Love and Peace.
You might also enjoy: What does Self-Worth mean to you?
Please feel free to leave a comment about how you make your decisions: by listening to your head or your heart.